


you have 666 notifications

by eyes_to_the_sky



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Crack, Multi, group chat au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24821260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyes_to_the_sky/pseuds/eyes_to_the_sky
Summary: timtimtim:>[attachment: 666 unread messages.jpg]> finallyjason todd is dead:> are you fucking joking> THIS is why you’ve been offline for fucking foreverBruce Wayne:> That’s a dollar to the swear jar.jason todd is dead:> wtf no that doesn’t apply in the gcBruce Wayne:> Yes it does.> And you’re up another fifty cents.jason todd is dead:> WTF ISN’T EVEN A FUCKING SWEARBruce Wayne:> $2.50
Relationships: some relationships are alluded to
Comments: 6
Kudos: 201





	you have 666 notifications

**Author's Note:**

> may or may not be wildly OOC on account of the fact that this was literally written two years ago

———————————

 **timtimtim:**  
> _[attachment: 666 unread messages.jpg]_  
> finally 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> are you fucking joking  
> THIS is why you’ve been offline for fucking forever 

**Bruce Wayne:**  
>That’s a dollar to the swear jar. 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> wtf no that doesn’t apply in the gc 

**Bruce Wayne:**  
> Yes it does.  
> And you’re up another fifty cents. 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> WTF ISN’T EVEN A FUCKING SWEAR 

**Bruce Wayne:**  
> $2.50 

_timtimtim has set [666 unread messages.jpg] as the group icon_

**timtimtim**  
> when will my reflection show who i am inside 

_jason todd is dead has left the group chat_

_dick has added jason todd is dead into the chat_

**timtimtim**  
> there’s no escape from hell 

———————————

**jason todd is dead:**  
> day 36 

**Bruce Wayne:**  
> Please stop. 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> i’m horny 

_jasontoddisdead has been removed from the chat_

**timtimtim:**  
> stop this is exactly what he wants 

_timtimtim has added jason todd is dead into the chat_

———————————

**Damian Wayne:**  
> Hello. Lock your doors and check before you reach for anything at all for the next few days. I will not be held responsible for anything that will happen to you if you do not heed this precaution while inside the manor.  
> You may also want to take extra care to examine your blankets and pillows before getting into bed. 

**timtimtim:**  
> what the actual FUCK 

**dick:**  
> damian,,,  
> what have you done,,,,,,,

 **Damian Wayne:**  
> It was Jon who brought the snakes to me. 

**timtimtim:**  
> WHAT FUCKING SNAKES 

———————————

_timtimtim changed their name to gay bitch_

**jason todd is dead:**  
> me  
> except not really bc im not gay no homo 

**Damian Wayne:**  
> You literally have a boyfriend. 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> bi erasure 

**Damian Wayne:**  
> I’m bi 

**gay bitch:**  
> we’re all bi here 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> you literally just set your name to gay bitch 

**gay bitch:**  
> shit 

**dick:**  
> i’m pan 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> did we ask 

**gay bitch:**  
> ok but it plays out like 85% boys and 15% girls for me 

**duke of wayne manor:**  
> everyone in this family i’m p sure is either bi or un-straight

_gay bitch changed the group name to NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED_

**Bruce Wayne:**  
> What is going on here. 

**steph:**  
> wait what about the big man isn’t he a str*ight 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> no 

**dick:**  
> no 

**cass:**  
> no 

**duke of wayne manor:**  
> no 

**steph:**  
> what???????????????

 **jason todd is dead:**  
> haven’t you ever seen him and superman interact 

**steph:**  
> ok to be fair, 

**dick:**  
> once i was working with them on a case and they stared each other down for five minutes 

**steph:**  
> my gaydar? wack 

———————————

**gay bitch:**  
> anyone in the manor,,,,, can u please come up and help me switch off the light  
> or on second thought don’t do that i’ll just lie awake 

**jasontoddisdead:**  
> wtf  
> you’re nineteen 

**gay bitch:**  
> kon came over to binge bfu and now i am a useless coward

 **Bruce Wayne:**  
> You didn’t tell me Conner was coming over. 

**gay bitch:**  
> ok but damian always has his bf over why can’t i 

**Bruce Wayne:**  
> That’s different. 

**Damian Wayne:**  
> Jon isn’t my boyfriend. We’re not dating. 

**gay bitch:**  
> sounds fake but ok 

———————————

**jason todd is dead:**  
> alright what’s up SLUTS  
> time for a game  
> http://www.generatorland.com/usergenerator.aspx?id=21452  
> whatever you get first is your new name on messages 

_jason todd is dead changed their name to [REDACTED] motherfucking dumbass_

**Damian Wayne:**  
> I cannot believe that was your result and you still chose to go through with it 

_the favourite daughter changed their name to lovely ??? gay_

**steph:**  
> cass continues to prove the softest and best out of all of us 

**gay bitch:**  
> god DAMN IT 

_gay bitch changed their name to twink ass dumbass_

**twink ass dumbass:**  
> i don’t appreciate being EXPOSED, 

**[REDACTED] motherfucking dumbass:**  
> it’s not exposing if everyone knew it anyway 

**twink ass dumbass:**  
> blocked 

_dick changed their name to beautiful ??? disaster_

**[REDACTED] motherfucking dumbass:**  
> oh fukc you  
> come on there is no way you got that first try 

**beautiful ??? disaster:**  
> the generator doesn’t lie jason :/ 

_steph changed their name to dumbass ??? datemate_

**twink ass dumbass:**  
> wait Where is the demon  
> i feel like i need to know his result to have justice 

**Damian Wayne:**  
> I refuse to partake in this. 

**dumbass ??? datemate:**  
> coward  
> embrace your identity 

**[REDACTED] motherfucking dumbass:**  
> fine we’ll do it for you 

**twink ass dumbass:**  
> LET ME 

**twink ass dumbass:**  
> oh my god im cyringng  
> _[attachment: screenshot_9867134]_

 **Damian Wayne:**  
> Absolutely not. 

**[REDACTED] motherfucking dumbass:**  
> thems the rules demon 

**Damian Wayne:**  
> I did not agree to this game of yours and therefore am not subject to the consequences of it  
> I do not believe that Drake got that on his first try. 

**twink ass dumbass:**  
> fine i’ll do it 

_Damian Wayne changed their name to bisexual ass bastard_

**bisexual ass bastard:**  
> STOP HACKING MY PHONE 

**beautiful ??? disaster:**  
> im fuckingkn cryingn all of you are the worstsfdfkjhh 

**twink ass dumbass:**  
> keep that and i’ll persuade bruce to let you take on that heist case you wanted 

**[REDACTED] motherfucking dumbass:**  
> oh my god he left you on read  
> this is the first time i have ever seen him without anything to say jesus christksjhfh 

**bisexual ass bastard**  
> As if I wouldn't just go anyway.

———————————

**dick:**  
> tim?????? u good?????????  
> respond 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> hey replacement bitch  
> jesus christ  
> is bruce there 

_timtimtim is typing..._

**timtimtim:**  
> your concern has been noted and is appreciated! unfortunately, this server seems to be currently malfunctioning. we will get back to you on the matter as soon as possible. 

———————————

**timtimtim:**  
> i woke up with a headache and i’m coughing and web md says i have cancer  
> it’s been nice knowing you guys 

**an actual demon^TM:**  
> we’re sorry we can’t say the same. 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> tragic  
> press f to pay respects 

**duke of wayne manor:**  
> f

 **steph:**  
> f 

**dick:**  
> oh no  
> jason makes some mean chicken soup 

**jason todd is dead:**  
> stop pimping me out for my soup skills 

———————————

**jason todd is dead:**  
> day 108  
> _[attachment: im back bitch.jpg]_  
> i’m horny 

**dick:**  
> you just woke up from a FUCKING COMA,

**Author's Note:**

> [appears after two years with new hobbies, a new personality and a honey boba tea] i am so sorry 
> 
> i've since hopped off the DC bandwagon lads!! i was clearing out my files and i'm not into comics anymore but i made some Good Content that i don't want to just dump so i've decided to just post them! more may follow this
> 
> but yes, THANK YOU SO MUCH for supporting my works on here, i appreciate it so much even though i couldnt respond to comments after a while; though i'm not in the fandom anymore the work i did while i was will always be important to me!! <3 thank you for all the support again


End file.
